Habits Holding Back From Top

What we are dealing with are challenges in interpersonal behaviour and often leadership behaviour. They are everyday irritations, caused by troublesome acts that make workplace more harmful to mind and health than it needs to be. They are the transactional defects performed by one person to another.

Check yourself against the list below, reduce it to one or two vital issues and you will know where to start.

Winning Too Much:- This is the most common behavioural problem in successful people. Winning too much is the number one challenge as it underlies nearly every other behavioural problems.


Adding Too Much Value:- It is extremely difficult for successful people to listen to other people. The higher up you go, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.


Passing Judgement:- There is nothing wrong with offering an opinion in the normal give-and-take of business discussions. But is not appropriate to pass judgement when we specifically ask people to voice their opinion about us. For a week, treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality without taking sides.

People will gradually begin to see you as a much more agreeable person, even when you are not agreeing with them. Consistently follow this policy and people will eventually brand you as a welcoming person, someone whose door they can knock on when they have an idea.

Starting with "No", "But," or "However":- When you start a sentence with any of these words or a variation thereof, no matter how friendly your tone or how many softened phrases you throw in to acknowledge the other person's feelings, the message to the other person is : you are wrong.

Stop trying to defend your position and start monitoring how many times you begin remarks with those three words.

Telling the World How Smart You Are:- This is another variation on our need to win. We need to be the smartest person anywhere, but it usually backfires. You can stop this behaviour by following a three-step drill:- (i) Pause before you open your mouth to ask yourself, "Is anything I say worth it?" (ii) Conclude that it is not. (iii) Say "Thank you."

Speaking When Angry:- When you get angry, you are usually out of control. Once you get a reputation for emotional reaction, you are branded for life. Pretty soon that is all people know about you.

Negativity:- "Let me explain why that won't work". After reading this statement, what you feel. You will definitely feel that this is purely a indicative phrase of negativity. Seeing how people relate to you provides proof that your flaw is serious, it matters to people, and it is a problem.

Withholding Information:- In the age of knowledge workers and technological advancement, information is power. Intentionally withholding information is the opposite of adding value. Not sharing information rarely achieves the desired effect.

Also failing to give proper recognize will deprive people of the emotional payoff that comes with success. They feel forgotten, ignored, and pushed to the side.

Adhering to the Past:- Many people enjoy living in the past. We use the past as a weapon against others and a way of contrasting it with the present to highlight something positve about ourselves at the expense of someone else.

Not Listening:- People will tolerate all sorts of rough and tough behaviours, but the inability to pay attention holds a special place in their hearts. If you are not listening, it means you are conveying a lot of negative messages.

Failing to Express Gratitude:- The sweetest words in the English Language are "Thank You". Although there is no art to saying it, people have a tough time executing this basic courtesy.

Passing the Buck:- This is the behavioural flaw by which we judge leaders. A leader who cannot shoulder the blame is not someone we will follow blindly into battle. Such leader is not fooling anyone - except perhaps himself - and no matter how much he thinks he is saving his hide, he is actually killing it.

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