'Conflict' is a direct disagreement of ideas or interests, a battle or struggle, antagonism or opposition. Here are some simple techniques to defuse these situations:-
- Manage aggression not by email, fax, memo, voice-mail, notes or answering machine. Instead, manage face-to-face. It is difficult but absence of face-to-face communication will just lead to anger, malicious feelings and antagonism.
- Demonstrate that you understand. Use the phrase 'I understand' but use it with care. Saying it will appear supportive and knowing and implies superior knowledge or being patronizing. It helps to defuse the conflict.
- If you are being threatened, walk away from the conflict and become non-communicative. Keep in mind, you won't resolve the situation by freezing it. Try to keep channels of communication still open.
- If someone is sounding off in aggressive, threatening way, play them back exactly as they have used, to make he or she realize how inappropriate or hurtful it is. This technique keeps the issue in narrow focus.
- Accept when you are angry, but do not try to shift the responsibility for your emotions to someone else. It is your anger, so you be accountable for it.
- If you are trying to manage a conflict, picture yourself putting each side of the arugment into the scales. Be fair to both sides like a judge, summing a court case.
- Be pride on controlling your temper. The more you practice being calm, the better you will get at it.
- If somebody's carelessness or lack of intelligence has led to loss of everything, you have been working for, concentrate on what needs to be done to salvage it.
- Give yourself permission to be angry from time to time but do it with dignity. Don't slam door or throw things. It definitely frightens people and some might even laugh at you. Going to lose your cool? Do it with decorum and chose your words with care. Be remembered for being smart not a smasher.